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The Snuggie From Hell

"Could it be...SATAN?"
--The Church Lady from SNL.

My Snuggie was possessed.

Yes, we're talking THE Snuggie, "the blanket that has sleeves!" For many months, I'd been making a point of ignoring Snuggies, as I do anything that's trendy, but with Christmas over and the deep-winter chill settling in, I found myself at CVS, staring at the shelf and thinking some "super soft fleece" didn't sound at all bad for our drafty home.

I picked up a Snuggie box and made my way to checkout, where the clerk pointed her little price-gun at the bar code. Nothing happened.

Undeterred, she did what any retail veteran would have done; she started entering the code manually. And that's when the demons in charge of my Snuggie went crazy.

I stared at the cash register as it blithely ignored my $14 purchase and the numbers began scrolling out of control: $1,000, $2,000...

Frantically, the clerk tried jabbing every key she could think of, but the price kept going up: $8,000, $9,000...

The poor woman grabbed the phone and called for help.

At about the time my Snuggie topped $15,000, a second clerk jumped onto our register and directed us to register number 2.

"How did you stop the first one?" I asked.

"I DIDN'T!" she said, but insisted I not worry about that. Meanwhile her co-worker tracked down a second Snuggie box to scan, and that one docilely registered the correct price on the first try. Highly relieved, she finished the transaction, making sure she gave me the first box with the evil Snuggie lurking inside.

(She did ask, a little nervously, if I might ever return it. I promised her I would only do that on a day she wasn't working.)

This was a couple of weeks ago, and I'm happy to report that my sky-blue Snuggie has been warm and cozy and has not given us a minute's trouble. Back at CVS, though, the demonic cash register may be ringing up its first $1 million Snuggie...

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 16th, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
It's like a Snuggie slot machine or something. My kids keep joking about the kid sized ones. I'm holding out for an animal print one myself. ;-)

Heather @36balloons
Jan. 18th, 2010 08:26 am (UTC)
I like the snuggie--but I don't think I'd pay $8,000 for one. I love the pic of the "pet snuggie." Yeah--you just try to get your dog to keep one on for more than a few seconds!
Jan. 23rd, 2010 04:47 pm (UTC)
My dog would love one. He sits in his sweater all day and whines if I take it off. As for myself? I have my old lady shawl.... and a fleece blanket.... and super thick socks....and a space heater....
Jan. 25th, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
too funny. thanks for the laugh. i thought the clerk asking if you might return it too hilarious.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )